When the panic strikes, it's in our hands to overcome it. As a matter of fact, nothing is needed to overcome it, it will pass by itself. The only thing in our control is how exactly it will develop. The rule of thumb is not to fight it, and not to flight it, although that's exactly the natural reaction. It's flight or fight response our body dictates us, and it's hard to change the mind set to let it go, surrender and wait it out. In the beginning attacks are very acute, because we are new to this feeling, so we need some help. Also, it's very important not to stress further our already tired and sensitized nervous system, not to stretch it further creating unnecessary suffering.
To help our body and brain it's good to use sedatives. The very first drug you'll most likely get from your doctor is some kind of benzodiazepine. Those drugs are quite old, and we are considerably lucky to get modern versions, but in essence it's the same old barbiturates which helped people to overcome anxiety and stave epileptic seizures for more than a century. They are very powerful and do great job helping in acute anxiety attacks. The effect us very quick, after only minute or two after administering the drug there is a massive relief, the sanity comes back and you left to wonder why you had the panic attack in a first place.
Xanax and Lorazepam are usual suspects when you talk to people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Those drugs are very dangerous and addictive, they help really well in the beginning, but our body gets used to them relatively quick, thus we may develop addiction, the withdrawal symptoms are exactly those we try to beat - anxiety and agitation, but it's not the biggest risk. Those drugs are extremely depressive, and depression is usually coming during nervous illness even without any helpers. Our tired mind soon becomes despaired and hopeless in a fight against the condition, and depressive qualities of benzodiazepines help to spiral sufferer into depression quicker, and keep him depressed longer. It's good to know that the same drugs are used to help people suffering from epilepsy, one of more famous of such people was a lead singer of Joy Division - Ian Curtis. One of the reasons he became so depressed is the side effect of anticonvulsants he was prescribed. Remember, although those drugs bring immediate relief and are extremely effective in the beginning, these are false path, they represent flight, they are not cure.
Sleep aids tend to help in more subtle and less pronounced way. Simple Gravol tablets may help to get much needed sleep, the only true cure against attacks. Giving your body and brain much needed rest is very important, and those simple sedatives help. Unfortunately they are very basic, taking them regularly is ineffective, so take them only when unable to sleep. Anxiolitics (Xanax and Lorazepam) will also put you to sleep, but as we concluded, they are only for acute cases, don't waste their precious power and cause your body to resist them for treating insomnia.
Sleepy time teas. Don't expect any wonders from herbal teas. First of all they are tonics, which means you have to drink those teas for a period of time to get desired effect, but it's worth it. Besides their calming and soothing influence, they'll make you following routine, which in turn makes you sleep better. So drink sleepy time teas as much as you want. I personally found that drinking those teas helps to shorten attacks and makes it easier to wait them out without fighting. The teas which are commercially available are not very potent, so it's worth considering making your own mix. A very simple such mix is the one of dried hops and chamomile. Use five parts of chamomile to one part of dried hops, take one table spoon of the mixture for one cup and steep it for 10-15 minutes. Be careful not to get carried away with hops.
Sedative herbs are probably the best way to help your body to rest from constant state of anxiety. Talk to your naturopath, those doctors practice traditional Chinese medicine. They will know everything about western medicine drugs, and they know the power of herbs. The great thing about herbs - they are naturally occurring, there is no need to synthesize them. They usually work in a gentle non-invasive way and have limited side effects. Don't be discouraged by lack of "evidence" from scientific studies, let yourself rely on the thousands years of experience and practice of traditional Chinese medicine. The other great thing is naturopathic doctor will change formula and adopt it to your specific needs, something pills can never achieve, the only lever we have while dealing with pills - is a dosage. With herbs it's much more flexible, subtle and at the end more beneficial. All that said, remember that herbs on their own are not the cure, they are mere helpers, the illness comes from our mind, and our mind alone is the one responsible to cure it.
Relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, yoga, qi-gong and prayer are our true helpers and cures from anxiety attacks. Relaxing our body and mind, training ourselves to be at the present moment, not to dwell on the past, not to +cringe in anticipation of the future, is the key to recovery. Mentioned above exercises teach us to do that, I'll talk about them in my next entry.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Cognitive behavioral therapy
The first thing we do if we feel bad is going to see a doctor. Anxiety and panic attacks isn't exception, but in some way it is. The illness manifests itself in strong physical sensations which scare the sufferer and make him believe something is terribly wrong with his heart or stomach, but it's all in a head after all. If you are reading this blog, you are probably already sure there is nothing physically wrong with you, but if you just had a panic attack, and not sure about your general health, please go to your family physician and do a check up. It's important to know that all your physical sensations are not coming from real problem with internal organs, but caused by excessive adrenalin.
You should seek the advice from your family practitioner, but be very careful with what you say to him or her. You may tend to unintentionally exaggerate what's happening in your head just because you are overly sensitized, and everything in your mind is blown out of proportion. The only thing you want to know visiting your family doctor the first time is that there is nothing wrong physically, if it is so, that means you've had a panic attack, and in this case, physician is of little help, the doctor you need is a psychologist. Nervous illness is conceived by your mind, and it can be beaten by your mind only. Antidepressants, anxiolytic drugs, and sedatives are there to help you, but they won't do the job for you, you'll need to change in order to beat those attacks, it's very hard to get on the path required to desensitize your nerves, but unless you do it, there is little to be achieved by Xanax or Cipralex.
The most important thing to do if you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks is to seek the advice of experienced psychologist, who preferably is specializing in treating such disorders. This specialist knows about the illness a lot more than family physician, he will ask the right questions, he'll know what you feel, he'll try to dig out all those skeletons from your closet which caused the stress to mount in a first place. You will learn a great deal about what's happening to you, and you'll start to teach yourself how to avoid the escalation of fear. One thing to remember, the fear is born in your head, it's the reaction to strange feelings which are brought upon by your over sensitized body, by confused and tired brain. The process of understanding and learning is the beginning of Cognitive behavioral therapy, which is going to give you all tools necessary to beat the illness. But make no mistake, the process will take time, try to be patient, don't despair, although the patience is probably the hardest thing to ask from the sufferer. When I started my therapy I was so bad, I couldn't tolerate any wait. Standing in line, waiting for a doctor, attending group meetings at work was a torture. With the time it will become much easier, trust me. It's always worth to remember that thing may get worse before they get better, please don't despair, by loosing hope you prolong the illness and make road for more disturbing thoughts, panic attacks and bad mood.
I was lucky to have very experienced social worker providing cognitive behavioral therapy. She was able to make me feel comfortable with who am I, she helped me to solve many problems which tortured me for years, she helped me with understanding of how to change my attitude towards myself, and life in general. Overall it was very positive and fruitful relationship which gave me a lot, and made me understand many things. I have to admit, if I wasn't suffering from my condition, I would probably benefit much less from what came as a side effect of my therapy. The illness taught me two things I lacked before - patience and ability to listen. At the end I know I'm becoming a better person, I'm finding new path, I feel more confident, more secure, and more self sufficient than before.
You should seek the advice from your family practitioner, but be very careful with what you say to him or her. You may tend to unintentionally exaggerate what's happening in your head just because you are overly sensitized, and everything in your mind is blown out of proportion. The only thing you want to know visiting your family doctor the first time is that there is nothing wrong physically, if it is so, that means you've had a panic attack, and in this case, physician is of little help, the doctor you need is a psychologist. Nervous illness is conceived by your mind, and it can be beaten by your mind only. Antidepressants, anxiolytic drugs, and sedatives are there to help you, but they won't do the job for you, you'll need to change in order to beat those attacks, it's very hard to get on the path required to desensitize your nerves, but unless you do it, there is little to be achieved by Xanax or Cipralex.
The most important thing to do if you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks is to seek the advice of experienced psychologist, who preferably is specializing in treating such disorders. This specialist knows about the illness a lot more than family physician, he will ask the right questions, he'll know what you feel, he'll try to dig out all those skeletons from your closet which caused the stress to mount in a first place. You will learn a great deal about what's happening to you, and you'll start to teach yourself how to avoid the escalation of fear. One thing to remember, the fear is born in your head, it's the reaction to strange feelings which are brought upon by your over sensitized body, by confused and tired brain. The process of understanding and learning is the beginning of Cognitive behavioral therapy, which is going to give you all tools necessary to beat the illness. But make no mistake, the process will take time, try to be patient, don't despair, although the patience is probably the hardest thing to ask from the sufferer. When I started my therapy I was so bad, I couldn't tolerate any wait. Standing in line, waiting for a doctor, attending group meetings at work was a torture. With the time it will become much easier, trust me. It's always worth to remember that thing may get worse before they get better, please don't despair, by loosing hope you prolong the illness and make road for more disturbing thoughts, panic attacks and bad mood.
I was lucky to have very experienced social worker providing cognitive behavioral therapy. She was able to make me feel comfortable with who am I, she helped me to solve many problems which tortured me for years, she helped me with understanding of how to change my attitude towards myself, and life in general. Overall it was very positive and fruitful relationship which gave me a lot, and made me understand many things. I have to admit, if I wasn't suffering from my condition, I would probably benefit much less from what came as a side effect of my therapy. The illness taught me two things I lacked before - patience and ability to listen. At the end I know I'm becoming a better person, I'm finding new path, I feel more confident, more secure, and more self sufficient than before.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What did I do to get ill
Many people are nervous, some are more nervous than others, some are more anxious, more apprehensive, fearful, panicky, hyperactive... We are all different, but our bodies produce the same chemicals when we get nervous. The chemical secreted by adrenal glands located above kidneys is called adrenalin. Adrenalin is good and necessary chemical, it helps to alert the brain of any danger. For example, when driving on the road and getting into bad situation we feel strong kick in our heart which starts beating fast, palms sweat, head spins, and we react. It is adrenalin doing its work creating fight-or-flight response. Under such condition blood flows to the brain and we begin thinking extremely quick, our alertness gets through the roof, and we are capable of getting out of danger quickly and effectively. When there is nothing to fear anymore, our brain realizes that and we calm down.
Panic attack is essentially fight-or-flight response lasting minutes, and even hours instead of split second. That's in a nutshell. The question is why such response may last long, why such irregular and overwhelming feeling becomes part of regular life? The answer is simple, if adrenalin is produced when our brain doesn't have any evidence of danger, it gets confused, and instead of being afraid of real thing we are becoming afraid of fear itself, sense of utmost insecurity, feeling of going insane, suffocating, heart palpitations, palm sweating and many other symptoms.
The question is why adrenalin is suddenly produced by seemingly healthy body when there is no reason? Why does it strike young healthy people who didn't have any history of serious disease? The answer is simple, the nervous system may become overly sensitized. Every small and insignificant event in our daily routine becomes very important, sad things upset us more and more, happy things don't inspire hope as they used to, bad mood prevails, the sleep deteriorates, we acquire repetitive, almost obsessive habits and thoughts, our mind struggles to find calmness, it is constantly spinning, even when we're asleep, we are becoming agitated, easily irritable and generally not very pleasant to be around.
Those are symptoms of being under stress. And that's what I did to get ill - I didn't manage my stress properly. I kept brooding, relentlessly loading my mind with unpleasant thoughts, I kept being afraid of the future, I kept regretting the past, I kept feeling guilty about things I've done wrong in my life. In other words, I was spinning like a record with only one track on it. The loop I created caused my brain to get more tired with every day. In search of a sense of security I was convinced I have to do more and more to achieve, use every second of a day to the fullest, but I probably wasn't built that way. My body needed the rest, but my mind wouldn't let it. At the end my nervous system became too sensitized and I broke down. I had panic attack.
My first full blown panic attack didn't come without warning. Probably two months before that I experienced milder version but it wasn't acute enough to get my fullest attention. I was watching the movie. A very sad movie, called "Breaking The Waves", written and directed by Lars von Trier, who, ironically, suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. When watching the movie I didn't know about its director. That day I came back home late but instead of going to bed I decided to have some quality time, and started to watch the movie. I was in excellent mood, I was enjoying the film, since I liked sad and bizarre things. Than suddenly I felt I'm losing sense of reality. For a moment I believed nothing was real. This thought stuck in my head and I decided to stop watching the film. I was trying to get asleep, but was too afraid to. The feeling was so disturbing, I woke up my wife and told her what's happening. Thankfully she was patient enough to talk to me and eventually I calmed down.
The next day I was feeling insecure, lost, depersonalized and afraid. In the evening I played a pick up soccer game and felt great after. I decided it's all over, I'm not in danger and all I wanted was to forget the incident and get on with my life. Unfortunately things got worse, since I was still mismanaging my stress, I was piling up work, studies, music, movies, I kept myself busy in attempt to block disturbing thoughts and worries, but all I did was running away from inevitable. One day I lost control, I felt I'm suffocating. While I was able to manage derealization and depersonalization, physical discomfort such that was too alerting, I finally listened to my body, and it let me know that it came to the point it could not continue to live my life style anymore, it gave up. Positive feedback created by my brain drove this attack to the extreme, I had to call 911 because I thought there is something wrong with my heart. I went to hospital. This is the day I understood there is something wrong with me, this is the day I began the journey of learning my condition. I knew little, I was afraid, baffled, insecure and lost. It was horrible.
It's not so important why my nervous system became sensitized, what's more important is that my condition was brought only by myself. I could have avoided all that by at least getting enough sleep. I could also worry less, but I always was nervous person. University exams, driving tests, meeting people in airports, was always very stressful to me. I was always afraid of heights, especially bridges and stairs. I guess I never was extremely bad case, but nevertheless I was predisposed. One thing I could always control though - the amount of sleep. I didn't realize how important sleep was for my health, but now I do.
If you reading this and never had panic attacks, or at least had very mild attacks, remember that letting your body rest is the most important obligation you have for your body. Listen to it, pay attention, it knows a lot more about itself than your mind; neglecting the body may lead to horrible things. Panic attacks isn't the worst that cam happen, you may acquire other diseases which aren't curable by behavioral therapy. If you already had panic attack, don't be discouraged, remember, you can get better, you have all the tools, don't despair, and remember what Dr. Evans from "Desperate Living" said: "The road to mental health is just around the corner". There are many ways we can reduce and control stress, I'll describe what I do in the following posts.
Panic attack is essentially fight-or-flight response lasting minutes, and even hours instead of split second. That's in a nutshell. The question is why such response may last long, why such irregular and overwhelming feeling becomes part of regular life? The answer is simple, if adrenalin is produced when our brain doesn't have any evidence of danger, it gets confused, and instead of being afraid of real thing we are becoming afraid of fear itself, sense of utmost insecurity, feeling of going insane, suffocating, heart palpitations, palm sweating and many other symptoms.
The question is why adrenalin is suddenly produced by seemingly healthy body when there is no reason? Why does it strike young healthy people who didn't have any history of serious disease? The answer is simple, the nervous system may become overly sensitized. Every small and insignificant event in our daily routine becomes very important, sad things upset us more and more, happy things don't inspire hope as they used to, bad mood prevails, the sleep deteriorates, we acquire repetitive, almost obsessive habits and thoughts, our mind struggles to find calmness, it is constantly spinning, even when we're asleep, we are becoming agitated, easily irritable and generally not very pleasant to be around.
Those are symptoms of being under stress. And that's what I did to get ill - I didn't manage my stress properly. I kept brooding, relentlessly loading my mind with unpleasant thoughts, I kept being afraid of the future, I kept regretting the past, I kept feeling guilty about things I've done wrong in my life. In other words, I was spinning like a record with only one track on it. The loop I created caused my brain to get more tired with every day. In search of a sense of security I was convinced I have to do more and more to achieve, use every second of a day to the fullest, but I probably wasn't built that way. My body needed the rest, but my mind wouldn't let it. At the end my nervous system became too sensitized and I broke down. I had panic attack.
My first full blown panic attack didn't come without warning. Probably two months before that I experienced milder version but it wasn't acute enough to get my fullest attention. I was watching the movie. A very sad movie, called "Breaking The Waves", written and directed by Lars von Trier, who, ironically, suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. When watching the movie I didn't know about its director. That day I came back home late but instead of going to bed I decided to have some quality time, and started to watch the movie. I was in excellent mood, I was enjoying the film, since I liked sad and bizarre things. Than suddenly I felt I'm losing sense of reality. For a moment I believed nothing was real. This thought stuck in my head and I decided to stop watching the film. I was trying to get asleep, but was too afraid to. The feeling was so disturbing, I woke up my wife and told her what's happening. Thankfully she was patient enough to talk to me and eventually I calmed down.
The next day I was feeling insecure, lost, depersonalized and afraid. In the evening I played a pick up soccer game and felt great after. I decided it's all over, I'm not in danger and all I wanted was to forget the incident and get on with my life. Unfortunately things got worse, since I was still mismanaging my stress, I was piling up work, studies, music, movies, I kept myself busy in attempt to block disturbing thoughts and worries, but all I did was running away from inevitable. One day I lost control, I felt I'm suffocating. While I was able to manage derealization and depersonalization, physical discomfort such that was too alerting, I finally listened to my body, and it let me know that it came to the point it could not continue to live my life style anymore, it gave up. Positive feedback created by my brain drove this attack to the extreme, I had to call 911 because I thought there is something wrong with my heart. I went to hospital. This is the day I understood there is something wrong with me, this is the day I began the journey of learning my condition. I knew little, I was afraid, baffled, insecure and lost. It was horrible.
It's not so important why my nervous system became sensitized, what's more important is that my condition was brought only by myself. I could have avoided all that by at least getting enough sleep. I could also worry less, but I always was nervous person. University exams, driving tests, meeting people in airports, was always very stressful to me. I was always afraid of heights, especially bridges and stairs. I guess I never was extremely bad case, but nevertheless I was predisposed. One thing I could always control though - the amount of sleep. I didn't realize how important sleep was for my health, but now I do.
If you reading this and never had panic attacks, or at least had very mild attacks, remember that letting your body rest is the most important obligation you have for your body. Listen to it, pay attention, it knows a lot more about itself than your mind; neglecting the body may lead to horrible things. Panic attacks isn't the worst that cam happen, you may acquire other diseases which aren't curable by behavioral therapy. If you already had panic attack, don't be discouraged, remember, you can get better, you have all the tools, don't despair, and remember what Dr. Evans from "Desperate Living" said: "The road to mental health is just around the corner". There are many ways we can reduce and control stress, I'll describe what I do in the following posts.
Introduction
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks relatively short time, only half year. It is now when I think I mastered majority of the aspects of this illness I think of this time as a short. Believe me, in the beginning the mere thought that this condition can last so long would throw me into cold sweat, than hot sweat and than possibly a panic attack.
In this blog I would like to describe things I've done in order to deal with the illness, my doubts, my mistakes, my intuitive findings, setbacks, happy moments and anything else that comes to mind. I really hope that my words will help somebody who struggles with this dreadful condition. I hope I can shed some light for ones who are lost in the dark. In the beginning I was in the dark, I was losing hope, I was lost. I found myself, the journey is not complete, but it's not important. The illness taught me a great deal, but I paid dear price
In this blog I would like to describe things I've done in order to deal with the illness, my doubts, my mistakes, my intuitive findings, setbacks, happy moments and anything else that comes to mind. I really hope that my words will help somebody who struggles with this dreadful condition. I hope I can shed some light for ones who are lost in the dark. In the beginning I was in the dark, I was losing hope, I was lost. I found myself, the journey is not complete, but it's not important. The illness taught me a great deal, but I paid dear price
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